


Ice Cream and Girl Talk

by FrenchKey, JayofOlympus



Series: Ladies of Marvel Bingo 2019 [7]
Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Crying, Demon Wanda Maximoff, Gen, Ice Cream, Kate Bishop is a Drama Queen, Kate's Asshole Father, Kate's Potty Mouth, Pre-Relationship, Spells Gone Wrong, Wanda Is A Good Bro, Wanda is Trying, Witch Kate Bishop, girl talk, references to murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24427363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrenchKey/pseuds/FrenchKey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayofOlympus/pseuds/JayofOlympus
Summary: Kate's having a bad week. She's argued with her father, broken up with her boyfriend, been deprived of her part-time dog, blown up a spell and now there's a demon  in her living room threatening to kill her.
Relationships: Kate Bishop & Wanda Maximoff
Series: Ladies of Marvel Bingo 2019 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706140
Kudos: 10
Collections: Ladies of Marvel Bingo 2019





	Ice Cream and Girl Talk

**Author's Note:**

> This is our fill for the Ladies of Marvel bingo square O3 - Meet-Ugly.
> 
> We found a list of meet-ugly prompts and really liked a couple of them. This one was "I’m a demon, you’re a witch, we’re enemies but when I show up to kill you, you’re crying and I really don’t know what to do now".

Kate glared balefully at the sticky green ooze that was splattered across the floor and up the walls. She stabbed her spoon into her ice cream tub. It should have worked. She’d read all the instructions three times, she’d double checked the runes in the circle and her pronunciation had always been flawless. It shouldn’t have gone wrong, but it had and that was just fucking typical. She sniffed. Her lower lip wobbled. A tear or two snuck down her cheeks.

It just wasn’t fair. Her whole week had been a nightmare. First her dad was… her dad. Then she and Tommy had decided it wasn’t working. _She_ had been the one to call it quits. She wasn’t sure why she was so upset over it. And to top it all off, Clint had taken Lucky back last weekend, and she hadn’t had a chance to go dognap him again. The spell going haywire was just the crap icing on a shit cake.

She jammed a massive spoonful of ice cream into her mouth in the hopes that the brainfreeze would stop her from crying.

‘What in the actual fuck happened here?’ a voice asked. It was a nice voice, low and melodic with a little bit of an accent. It wasn’t meant to be in Kate’s living room, though. She screamed. Admittedly, it might have gone better with less ice cream in her mouth.

‘Please don’t die before I have a chance to kill you,’ the voice said, sounding grumpy.

That did it. She started sobbing. Her week had been awful, she had no dog to cuddle with, and now someone was in her living room trying to kill her. It was officially the worst week ever.

She lobbed her spoon in the direction of the voice. ‘Fuck off! Kill me some other time.’

‘I’m afraid that’s not an option,’ the voice said. Kate buried her face in her knees and howled. She was pretty sure this was the worst way to die. She was wearing her oldest, comfiest, rattiest pyjamas and her house was covered in spell residue. She was crying into her ice cream for Thor’s sake. How embarrassing. She just couldn’t seem to stop crying though.

‘I refuse to die in pyjamas that aren’t even cute!’ she sobbed, scrubbing at her face. ‘It’s not fair. After all the shit that’s happened, I should at least be allowed to die wearing something cute!’

Not that it would really matter what she was wearing if she was dead. The only person likely to check on her was Clint. Her dad wouldn’t notice until the bank called to let him know her card hadn’t been used in a while, and Tommy hadn’t exactly kept anything in her apartment that he’d be back to pick up. Maybe that should have been an indicator long ago that they weren’t going to last. She really needed to stop dating her friends.

The thought made her sob even harder, which she hadn’t thought was even possible at this point.

‘Look, you can cry all you want, but I still need to kill you for your crimes against the natural order,’ the voice huffed.

That finally made Kate spin around. There were many villains that might want to break into her house and kill her, but most of them wouldn’t bother trying to make it sound justified first. Quite apart from that, she hadn’t committed any crimes of any kind recently. Her train of thought was derailed as she finally took in the owner of the voice. She was tall and glowing. Her dark brown hair was parted around a pair of horns and her teeth were ominously sharp. None of that surprised Kate. She’d seen demons before after all. What really took her aback was the sheer hotness of the woman in front of her.

‘Uh…’ She swallowed and tried again, realising that had been less than eloquent. ‘I think you got the wrong apartment. I don’t do the crime thing. I stop the crime thing. I try to stop the crime thing. Um. Hi?’

‘You are Katherine Bishop, daughter of Derek Bishop, no?’ the woman asked her.

‘Uh, yeah? I… Jesus fuck, what’s my fucking idiot father done now?’ she growled. It was just like him to do something that ended with a demon in her living room, trying to kill her during the worst week of her life. ‘He couldn’t have saved it for some other day, could he? No, because he’s a selfish asshole with no spine, and whenever Masque says jump, he fucking jumps. God!’

She started pacing, furious. Of course it was his fault. His shittiness had been what had started her shit week. Why wouldn’t it be what ended it?

‘You know, I’m actually kinda glad you’re here now,’ she said, turning to the demon, who took a step back. Kate was aware she probably looked insane. ‘Just put me out of my misery. I can no longer handle being related to him. This is just too goddamn much!’

‘Umm… Are you ok?’ the demon asked her. ‘Just, you’re not quite what I was expecting. I don’t know that I’m willing to kill you now.’

‘Typical!’ Kate yelled, ‘I don’t want to die and you want to kill me. Then, I want to die and you change your mind! Can you just make a decision here?’ She threw her hands up in the air and turned to pace again. Unfortunately, she’d forgotten about the spell residue. As she put her foot down, it slid out from under her and then she was tipping, wildly windmilling her arms. 

Strong arms caught her round the waist and then she was being clutched to a warm, soft chest. Kate definitely wanted to die now.

‘I have made a decision, Katherine Bishop,’ the demon said softly, way too close to Kate’s ear. It should _not_ have been as hot as it was. ‘I came here with faulty information. Now that I know better, I will not kill you. You are not at fault for your father’s crimes.’

Kate scrambled upright and out of the demon’s arms. ‘Right, yeah,’ she stammered. ‘Well, that’s great. It would have made for a shitty way to end a week. Lose a dog, fight with my dad, lose a boyfriend, lose my life. Would have sucked.’

The demon was still giving her that concerned look that Kate had seen on way too many people. Cassie pulled that look out all the time. It was the ‘your life is so dysfunctional that I don’t even know where to start asking if you’re alright’ look. She silently picked up the ice cream tub and spoon that Kate had dropped earlier and held them out. Kate grabbed them and shoved herself back into the corner of the couch. The demon hovered, looking a little awkward. Kate sighed.

‘If you’re not going to kill me, you might as well grab a spoon and join me,’ she said.

The demon sat gingerly on the edge of the couch and summoned a spoon from wherever demons kept their cutlery. ‘Would you like to… talk about it?’ she asked, taking a small, delicate spoonful of ice cream. ‘It must have been hard, to have lost two things you love in such a short space of time.’

Kate snorted. ‘I can pick Lucky up tomorrow after I clean this mess up,’ she said. ‘I just gotta make sure Clint’s out so I can grab him without having to listen to Clint whining about how Lucky’s ‘his dog’ and how I should just ‘get myself a puppy’.’

It was then that she realised that the demon thought the dog and the boyfriend were both dead.

‘Shit, when I said I lost them, I meant I don’t have them anymore, not that they’re… you know,’ she said, embarrassed.

‘Ah, they are lost physically,’ the demon said, nodding sagely. ‘Do you need help locating them? I am excellent at essence location.’

Kate sighed. ‘It’s not so much that I can’t find them,’ she muttered, ‘It’s more that they don’t want me to. The dog isn’t actually mine. I just borrow him sometimes and his owner wanted him back. I broke up with my boyfriend and I doubt he wants to talk to me at all at the moment. It just kinda feels like everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong this week and it was all a little bit too much. I don’t _usually_ sob into my ice cream.’

The demon nodded. ‘This boyfriend, he was unkind?’ she asked, taking another bite of ice cream.

‘No, that’s part of the problem,’ Kate said, shaking her head. ‘Like, he could sometimes be an ass, but all my friends can. Even Eli, and he’s real sweet. God, I gotta quit dating my friends, because one of these days, it’s gonna wreck everything. Anyway, I had less of a connection with Tommy than I thought, and we were mostly dating cause we’re both hot, and single, and it would have hurt Eli way too much if I’d tried dating him again. And I’m _so_ not ready for whatever dating America would be like. I guess we were both kinda lonely, and it seemed like a good idea at the time,’ she concluded, realising all of a sudden that she’d been rambling.

‘I can’t say I entirely understand the mating rituals of humans, but I believe the appropriate response is to tell you that I’m sorry to hear that,’ the demon said. 

Kate giggled, still feeling a little too close to tears for comfort. ‘It’s traditional, yeah. Anyway, that’s enough about my dumb problems. What’s your deal? You seem nice, but you also threatened to kill me. What gives? Also, what’s your name? It feels kinda rude to keep thinking of you as “the demon in my living room”, but I also don’t know who you are.’

The demon gave her a soft laugh that was way too fucking cute. ‘You can call me Wanda,’ she said with a smile. ‘I am seeking to put an end to Madame Masque’s unnatural rituals. She perverts the natural order of things and seeks to bring demons to her heel as though she has any control of them. This cannot be allowed.’

Kate nodded. ‘So that’s why you’re after my dad?’

‘I am sorry, Katherine Bishop,’ Wanda said, ‘But your father is part of her coven, and so he must pay for his part in her crimes.’

‘I totally agree. He’s an ass. He should never have gotten involved. Also, please, for the love of Thor, call me Kate. No one ever calls me Katherine unless I’m in trouble.’

‘You would offer your father’s life up?’ Wanda asked, raising her eyebrows.

‘No,’ Kate replied, ‘I don’t like what he’s doing. I don’t even really like _him_ any more, but he’s still my dad. If I had to fight him because he was involved in something I was trying to stop, I’d arrest him. I will definitely cry if he dies. But, there’s also part of me that knows he deserves it. I know that a lot of people would be a lot safer if he wasn’t here. I guess… I’m willing to stay out of the way?’

Wanda nodded slowly. ‘I will take that under advisement,’ she said. ‘Now, I believe we must complete the ritual of “girl talk” by speaking more of this boyfriend Tommy, while we finish eating this ice cream.’

‘Exactly!’ Kate grinned, saluting with her spoon.


End file.
